The last day
- sn pubs
- Jan 27, 2021
- 4 min read
“I-I don’t know what..to…d-do,” I heard my mother sobbing through her shabby room door. Guilt-ridden, I knew the reason we had no money wasn’t that she had lost her job, but due to my Asperger’s Syndrome. How was my single mother who was working a night shift at a supermarket supposed to be able to afford my fees at a special school and multiple checkups from different doctors? We’ve had incidents like this before, but she had been in her room for an entire day already, making phone calls and crying, I was certain there was no way she was going to be able to carry on like we had last time. I didn’t know what she was going to do, she had used up all her savings, pawned all her valuable items and tried to do everything possible, but nothing could help now, we had reached rock bottom.
When she finally got herself together and got out of her room, she made us dinner, the only meal we had for the day. A while later I was pleasantly surprised to smell a delicious aroma, one I had not smelt in an extremely long time. Mother was making my favourite meal, macaroni and cheese, which surprised me as we only ate that on special occasions and we had been living off instant noodles for the better half of two weeks now. The scent brought me back to all the times my mom and I had spent together and I suddenly recalled my birthday last year. It was nothing special, no party, no elaborate dinner. It was just me and my mom having an occasional dinner together. I remember the sheer joy I felt when my mom took out a small slice of cake to celebrate my birthday. It was delicious. However what I valued even more than that was the time I got to spend with my mom. The fact that she had spent her precious money to get me cake just showed that she did care about me and loved me alot.
“Dinner’s ready!” my mom’s call jolted me out of my thoughts as I immediately rushed to the dining room, excited for dinner.
Dinner was served and she gave me a nice big portion along with a huge mug of orange juice. Beaming from ear to ear at the sight of the mouth-watering food, I noticed my mom’s tired smile and her eyebags from the sleepless nights she’d been having. “ We’ll go to the beach for a walk later ok?” she whispered. The beach was my favourite place, it calmed me down when I was scared or angry, it seemed like my mom liked it too. I devoured my food and I was stuffed by the time I had finished my macaroni. My mom then put the cup of orange juice in front of me and said, “ drink up, we should leave before it gets too dark so we can catch the sunset.” Gulping down my orange juice, I drank it all up until I reached the sediments at the bottom and it started to taste bitter. Must’ve been because it’s been kept for too long, I reasoned.
At the beach, we sat at the dock as we leaned on each other, admiring the lovely sunset. The view then started to become slightly fuzzy as I felt a bit drowsy. A bad headache started to form as I laid down on my mom’s lap. Shutting my eyes I tried to make the headache go away, but it wouldn’t. It got worse. My mom stroked me as she realised that I was not feeling well. After a while, I could feel myself being carried so I thought she was going to bring me home to rest. However, what followed I did not expect.
A big splash was what I heard as I registered that I was wet. Forcing my eyes open, the salty seawater stung my eyes, making the dizziness worse than it was already. My mom was still clinging on tightly to me thus I tried to tap and shake her to get her attention. No reaction. Scrambling for air I used all my might to help us float to the surface but somehow I couldn’t. It was as if my arms and legs had turned limp. I felt drained, exhausted, sick. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown as I did not know what to do. I hung on to my mom for dear life thinking she would miraculously wake up and save both of us. This is just a dream. This can’t be real, I remember thinking. All the times I wanted to give up on life I never thought that I would be fighting for my life, hoping to live. I was suddenly at a loss, was this what I wanted all this time? Did I want my life to end? The water started to hurt my chest, unable to breathe, I gagged. I could still feel the acute pain in my head as I started to lose my train of thoughts. Falling further and further away from reality everything started to merge into one. It was as if darkness came and strangled me from the back like a kidnapper. Suddenly, everything was gone.
Hannah Quah
Sec 2 Grace
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