Jokes

15 of the Funniest Jokes Ever

1. Two fishes are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

3. Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.

4. Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

5. I named my dog ‘5 miles’ so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

6. Never iron a four leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.

7. Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.

8. Make crime pay, become a lawyer.

9. A blind man was calling an end to his relationship with his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, I can’t see you anymore.”

10. I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.

11. “Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!” “Sit down and I’ll deal with you later.”

12. Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?

Little Johnny: But I asked first!

1. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert? No thanks, I’m stuffed.

2. Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.

3. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Source: https://twitter.com/best_jokes?lang=en

Chloe Kho (2P)